When it comes to all the bad news in general, or hoopla surrounding today’s celebrities, I rarely hear about it unless my daughter sends me a link to a story. I sigh when I take the time to read or skim through ’em. I want to share my thoughts on many, but I barely have time to work on my fiction series, which I feel is more important. At least among those pages, I can speak my truth through my characters. But I will take time to share my thoughts on the Omari Hardwick story about fans screaming about his new wife because it brings up angry feelings for me but not in the way that you think.
When I first read the story and Omari Hardwick’s responses, I said to myself really? What is all the uproar about, especially, coming from Omari Hardwick who felt he needed to send out 200 tweets to defend his right to marry who he chooses? 200 tweets to tell everyone to either “shut the fuck up” or “stop talking about my wife!” Well here’s to you Mr. Hardwick – boohoo. I hope you are over it. We all know that this is a cruel world full of cruel people and when you are in the public eye you can expect to get trashed sooner or later. Just ask our first black President Barack Obama who gets cursed out the minute he wakes up; his black kids get trashed and his beautiful black wife Michelle isn’t immune. Many in the public call this black woman ugly, an angry black woman and everything else but a child of God. However, both Bo and Mo have handled the public scrutiny and cruelty with style and grace. So, Omari Hardwick, if anything, you should have broke-out a bottle of the best champagne (y’all can afford it) and toasted your wife and said “Well honey welcome to sisterhood. Now you know what it feels like to be a black woman!”
Uh-huh. The public has been rather unkind to a black woman’s looks, saying we don’t meet the grade unless we look like Beyoncé. I brought up this subject when Michael Jordan married his white wife and 6,000 people took to Yahoo to talk about how ugly, stanky and worthless black women were and that is the reason black men no longer wanted to marry them. Well you haters on Omari, if you think his wife is ugly, then looks are not the reason black men don’t marry black women. When you get right down to it, black women have taken the worst heat when it comes to perceived beauty in this country. The disgusting remarks by those invisible chatroom assholes piss me the hell off. Y’all know if you came out in public, you wouldn’t dare say anything because you’d be setting yourself up for a beatdown.
Frankly, I was surprised that anyone made such remarks against the new Mrs. Hardwick. She’s white. Generally, black men are applauded for marrying white women regardless of what people perceive to be beautiful. I know people think Jordan’s wife is fine. I still can’t see it but hey, that is another topic indeed: “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.”
As for Omari Hardwick, he has the right to say what he wants. But I hate to say this “celebs.” The folks talking don’t give a damn. They could care less about your responses, which Omari’s no doubt came straight from his anger and emotion. Hmm. Surprises me that Hardwick’s wife, who is a publicist, didn’t tell him to chill for a minute and respond later with some sense. I read some of Hardwick’s comments and they didn’t make a bit of sense to me. Some of what he said may have been important, but it may be all for not.
In that vein, as a PR person, I have to remind myself what to say to the public and how to say it when they piss me the hell off. In my world, when I am not doing Amanishakhete, I am publicly attacked and still talked about in the newspaper in association with former companies I’ve worked for or headed. My attorney, I keep on retainer, tells me to stay cool and refrain from engaging with the public, trying to defend myself, my choices or my work. It’s a waste of time unless it is a clear case of defamation. Then we get paid. Well I haven’t been that lucky – yet.
So, meanwhile, I guess the lesson here is how best to respond. Or maybe not. Or maybe just keep it short and sweet and say, for example, STFU (shut the fuck up). Or wait a day or two and respond with grace and candor like the President. Beyoncé learned that lesson quickly after she told her fans to mind their own business after her sister went off on JayZ in the elevator. She must have heard me telling her off all the way from Wilsonville. After all, the fans in her business, made her the almost billionaire she is today. Immediately, the next day, she came out with a much eloquent statement no doubt written by her PR team who had to remind her she’s a public figure who’s still getting paid big money.
Yep. Celebrities are human too. But being a public figure has its downfalls. Things haven’t changed since I learned about the plight of public figures in High School Econ and Political Science (umpteen years ago) and how those attacking public figures have the right to exercise free speech. We can spend our time shouting back at the free speech haters, but what good will it do? It may make us feel better, but in the end what a waste of time. I’d rather just get paid.
Meanwhile, I have 4 words for those who hate this post or who want to talk about my future boo who may end up being a white man ’cause unlike other sista’s I ain’t waiting for another brotha who may never come along, or one who thinks you should marry him just because… My 4 words are WGAF “Who gives a fuck!” At the end of the day, I still plan to watch my man Omari on the new series Power on Starz (new season starts next summer). He’s quite nice to look at and that ass speaks volumes. I know his wife is having the time of her life. Frankly, I’ll take looking at Mr. fine Omari over rapper 50 cent any day. So Omari, stay cool. Next June is a long time coming.